What an incredible day it’s been so far. The temperature got up to 26°C here in Skipton today. I sat out in the garden for a while. It always feels like I’m stealing time when I do so, but it’s important to get the vitamin D levels up. I almost nodded off actually- something which I never do.
I haven’t been sleeping very well though. I’ve been having a lot of vivid dreams. Some are quite easy to explain. In one this week, I was trying to find a wedding dress shop that’s open. In another, I was searching in vain to find my room at uni, (Poppy’s doing online uni exams and we’ve just binge-watched Normal People). University life was obviously in my mind. Other dreams however, have been nothing short of weird. In one I was walking along a jetty with Harry when a dolphin leapt out of the water to join us. In another, a huge coach was parked just up from my house. The door opened on me as I walked past; I woke with a start.
I’m definitely dreaming more than I did before lockdown. Or maybe I’m just remembering more of them. We all have a lot to process right now in terms of experience and feelings and I know I’m not alone in this.
I’m sleeping until much later in the morning too. Whether I needed to get up for work or not, I had never slept until an alarm. Ever. I always set one just in case, but I’d wake with a racing mind and a desire to get up and seize the day, even when I was a teenager. Bedtime isn’t much later than normal, but it’s rare I sleep through the night. I don’t know if it’s because it’s been so warm lately, or if it’s because Ian’s here every night and I hear every noise and feel every movement. And I’m having more wine than normal. I don’t usually have anything if I’m working the following day, so I have at least three alcohol-free days per week. During lockdown it’s been 1 night off a week. (+/- 1 day). It’s just so nice to sit down with Ian and the kids and have wine with dinner. I don’t drink to excess, but I suspect it makes me feel, well, slightly dopey the following morning.
I think fundamentally, it boils down to the fact that we’re all out of routine. Harry’s day isn’t dictated by school lessons and Poppy’s here when she should still be having lectures and exams in Durham. Ian’s working from our home office here, but he’s having to test and modify kit here, instead of on-site, (his job entails a lot of travel ordinarily). And my day isn’t dictated by the half-hour eye-examinations I do at work.
We eat breakfast later, so lunch and dinner are later. We sometimes walk at lunchtime, we sometimes walk in the evening. At times, things feel like they’re all over the place. The days lack structure. Humans are creatures of habit, something that’s evident from seeing people sit day-after-day in the same pew at church, the same row in the lecture theatre, the same side of the train. We need, (or at least, most of us do), routine, timetables and repetition. I wonder how long it will take to get back to normal, whatever our normal is, after lockdown.
Stay safe and sleep well x
Agadir embroidered green dress: Aspiga, gift. (Still available in some sizes and reduced to half price)
Sunglasses: Winston by Otis Eyewear, (part of a previous paid partnership). Read more about this brilliant eco brand in this blog post, photographed this time last year on the divine beach at Bamburgh last year).