UPDATE: March 2016…
I have deleted many of the blog posts that I wrote before this life-changing event, details of which below. It was a difficult decision because I put a lot of work into them, but I only look forward. It’s funny how various outfits can trigger memories! ย Thank you x
On May 18th 2013, I tentatively published my first blog post. It had been something I’d procrastinated about for many months and it took several weeks before I told anyone outside of my immediate family about it.
Little did I know how much I would love writing it. What started off as a hobby has become a passion taking up the vast majority of my spare time.
As a direct result of my blog, I’ve had two columns published in Arrival Magazine and I’ve had the opportunity to model for Fever London and for Gray and Osbourn. Something I’ve dreamed of doing since being a teenager.
I have worked with numerous brands and have discovered countless companies that were previously unknown to me. And I’ve collaborated with so many brilliant business women, who spotted a gap in the market and created their own brand. Truly inspiring.
But the most unexpected thing is the friendships I’ve made.
There is a hugely supportive network of fashion bloggers that unite to support each other through things that are, (and more often not), blog related. Ladies, you know who you are- thank you.
I haven’t met any of these women in person, yet I came home a few weeks ago to find these beautiful flowers on my doorstep from them.
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Because just less than eight weeks ago, on 25th March 2014, my personal life changed forever.
The day after our daughter’s 13th birthday, I found out that my husband of almost 16 years had been having an affair with a friend of mine for some time. A “friend” whose daughter is in the same class at school as my son. There are so many more things I could tell you, but this will suffice.
I told him to leave immediately.
My world went into free fall and I’ve never known such pain. I married for life and I gave it everything. Their betrayal takes my breath away.
As a result, I’m going through a divorce, our house is on the market and I’ve cancelled our much anticipated holiday in Devon.
It is absolutely agonising.
However, my children and I stand, (literally and figuratively), surrounded by friends. They’ve cooked for us, sent flowers, cakes and chocolate. They’ve made countless cups of tea and they’ve cried (an ocean) with me.
I’ll never be able to thank them enough.
My family provides the cushion, the buffer which is evident in close families. They’ve done so much more than support us- they’ve carried us.
A love and support which is unconditional and infinite. I’m incredibly fortunate.
My future is uncertain and I feel adrift.
But, I’m positive and optimistic by nature and mentally very strong. I will get through this most horrific situation, helped hugely by a clear conscience.
I have the respect and love of my beautiful children. There are no secrets- they’re old enough and bright enough to understand.
We have each other, we have our health and we are very loved. Once we secure a new home, we’ll have everything we need.
I happily and willingly relinquished my career as an optometrist three years ago to enable my husband’s career and business to succeed. A decision that suited us both and benefited our family.
It’s been a privilege to be a stay at home mum. I loved this status and it afforded me the opportunity to watch my children take part in sports events, music festivals and to spend time with them. To take them to and from school every day. I treasured every second.
However, because of my new circumstances and because my son starts secondary school in September, it’s time to work again!
I’d love nothing more than to earn a living from writing. That’s my goal.
So if you’d like me to write a post for you, to review a product or to be a “real” model for you, do say. I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you so much for reading my blog, for your lovely comments and for your support.
Thank you for following me on Bloglovin’, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.
I’m going to raise a glass to my blog and to my sister-in-law Sarah, whose 40th birthday is today and whose home I’ll be at later to celebrate along with the rest of my precious family.
And tomorrow? I’ll show you what I wore.
79 comments
You have inner strength and beauty – no one can take that away from you.
Good luck with the future Liz
Thank you Fiona. Thank you for your friendship, support and blogging inspiration too xxx
You are amazing Lizzy! I admire your strength & positivity & you my dear will go far & make it for you & your children! Best of luck with everything that you are dealing with & I hope your little shop goes well too! Big Hugs & Kisses! xx
Thank you Andrea. You're so lovely xxx
Liz sending you huge hugs & love. I'm sure in the not to distant future you will find the true happiness & love you so very much deserve. Keep smiling & lots of luck with your shop.
Jane xx
My Midlife Fashion
Thank you Jane so much xxx
Hi Liz, Congratulations on your blog, I love to read it, you have amazing style. My thoughts are with you, keep strong and hold your head up high, the way is forward for you and your children. You are a talented stylish woman who will go far. Good luck with your shop. Lynn xx
Thank you so much. It's so lovely of you to say so Lynn xxx
Liz, I admire your amazing strength, this must have been so very hard for you to write but stay strong as I see great things in the future for you! You have the support of wonderful family, friends and of course your children! Wishing you all the very best and sending much love. Michelle xx
Thank you Michelle. It was very hard to write and I debated for a long time whether or not it was the right thing to do. I would rather be honest though because at some point we will be moving house and I felt today was the right time. Both children proof read it as I've never really talked about anything so personal before. My sister-in-law, whose birthday it is today, looks a little like you. I'll ask if I can put some photos on tomorrow of her. She's super stylish like you too xxx
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this, but it sounds like you're surrounded by everything you need to help get you through. Keep smiling that beautiful smile and good luck for the future. I hope your dreams come true x
Thanks Helen. I have everything I need and I too hope I'll find my "happy ever after!" xxx
Congratulations with the Blog Liz. I discovered it by chance and thank the lord I did, you will never know how far from acceptable I had drifted. Through your blog I now follow several ladies and never buy fashion magazines anymore I have far better advice here. Even though I live in the sun Australia is always behind UK fashion so I find even your posts in Winter make me think about a colour trend that I can translate into summer clothes. So a big thankyou! I am sorry to hear about your personal circumstances, your strength is admirable. Good luck with scarf shop, do you do international deliver as they look beautiful. Lucy ๐
Thank you Lucy. It's lovely to hear we have inspired you. Many of the blogs I follow gave me the courage to start my own blog. It really is a lovely community. I can certainly post internationally. I will look tomorrow and get a price for you. I'll add it to the "boutique" so you can decide if you'd like to buy any. My children love watching Bondi Rescue and have decided that I should marry an Aussie so we can visit!! Keep a look out for a single guy for me!! Lots of love xxx
Dont be fooled they dont all look as good as Bondi Rescue hotties but I wilo keep a lookout lol. Fab news for delivery I now have the difficulty of choosing a design. They are all beautiful you have a great eye for style! Take care Lucy x
Ha ha!! We watched Bondi this evening. It made me smile thinking what you said about the a Rescue Hotties. Keep on looking for me!! Xxx
Such a difficult post to write I'm sure. I think you've amazed us, your blogging friends with your strength and courage to forge forward. All the very, very best to you, your children and future Liz. Donna xxxxx
Thank you Donna. The support from my fellow blogging mummies has been wonderful, so thank you again xxx
Good Luck with everything Liz, you will succeed in anything you turn your hand to, I'm confident of that. Your family and friends sound truly amazing and thank goodness you have them around to support you. Much love and hugs, we may be virtual but we are always there. xxxx
Thank you x
My family and friends (both real and virtual) are indeed amazing and have made this do-able xxx
Dear Lizzy, I have only been following your blog for a short time which I enjoy hugely! For you to have carried on during turmoil shows huge strength of character, as a very dear friend said to me recently, it will end, and you will come out the other side stronger. Be kind to yourself, I am sending you an online hug. Well done and good luck for the future.
Sue x
Bestfriendstyle
Thank you Susan. My beautiful children have given me the strength to get up each day and continue. Life is so precious and as hard as it is, we need to remember that we are healthy and have each other. My confidence has taken a huge knock but this won't change me or my values. I am very lucky to have countless people to look after us xxx
Bravo, Liz! I can't imagine the pain and tremendous upheaval the betrayal has been for you and the your kids. But your strength and optimistic outlook is inspiring.
Thank you lovely.
Everything you say is true. I sometimes think I can't manage everything at once, because in a second everything changed. But more than ever, I value what is truly important and this keeps me going xxx
Love your blog and am very sorry you have had such a bad time. Loving the look of your scarf shop will definitely be purchasing. Keep yr chin up you are an inspiration x
Thank you xxx
Ok so the comment I formed in my head when I started reading this post changed a bit after gasping in shock. I am truly stunned & desperately sad for you & the children but I wanted to wish you a very happy first blog birthday & the very best of luck. You don't need me to tell you to stay strong etc because you already have an immense network of support around you. I'm so sorry to read this Liz. Lots of love & virtual hugs are winging their way from Hampshire to Yorkshire x x
Thank you Lou so much xxx
I love reading your blog Liz but boy wasnt expecting that! Your strength and the love from your family will carry you through this difficult time. X
I love reading your blog Liz but boy wasnt expecting that! Your strength and the love from your family will carry you through this difficult time. X
Thank you. It was a very different post today because normally it isn't personal, but I felt today was the right day (although I changed my mind countless times!) The strength from our loved ones has enabled me to carry on. I'm so glad you enjoy my blog xxx
Happy first birthday to your blog, Liz! I really hope the future brings you everything you deserve and more! I think it's amazing that you've kept on blogging through this tough time and I look forward to reading many more wonderful posts! ๐ lots of love and best wishes for your new venture; I'm off to chec it out now! xxx
Thank you Emma. And thank you for all of your lovely comments. I wish you and Dean every happiness in your marriage. Despite everything, I still very much believe in marriage and who knows, (and if my children have their way), I'll be wearing white again!!! xxx
You're very welcome, Liz. Thank you so much, it means a lot! I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, so I am very confident that there is a very special someone out there waiting for you! You are a wonderful person. xxx
Liz, I am so sorry to hear about the divorce proceedings. I wonder if it's all an age-related thing (meaning in the early to mid-40s) because I know many couples here in Brooklyn whose marriages are falling apart or fell apart, whether there was an affair or not (and sometimes there was). You are a strong and beautiful woman and I know you will get through this difficult time in your life! Keep your kids in the forefront of your mind and that will pull you through! Happy Blog Birthday. I am thinking of you and sending positive energy your way! XO, Jill
Thank you Jill. I just wish he'd got a motor bike if it was a mid-life crisis!! It's so very sad and only he knows the reasons why- but yes, I will get through in the end. Thank you Jill so much xxx
So sorry to hear your news. I have been enjoying your blog for a while and been inspired to try new clothes and colour combinations because of you. All the best & will be thinking of you. M
Aw, thank you so much. I will do my very best to keep my blog as "normal" as possible and it'll be back to the outfits tomorrow! I'm so glad you enjoy my blog. I absolutely love writing it xxx
Lots of love Liz, hard to write I am sure as I wasn't expecting what you wrote. I have had a previous partner have an affair and it hurts but each day is hurts less and less tunnel all your engery into your children blog & your future and you will be smiling again! Lots of love & virtual hugs xx
Oh, thank you so much. And I'm so sorry for you too. It gives me strength to see that so many women do get through it, so thank you xxx
Congratulations on your 1st blogging birthday! I read your post this morning and you have been in my thoughts all day, it's such an honest and brave post and you have my respect for having the courage to write it. I wish you all the luck in the world for your and your children's future. I shall continue to follow your blog as I have done from the start and also on Avenue 57. Much love – Sue x
Thank you Sue.
I really didn't know if it was the right thing to write about, but sooner or later we'll be moving and things are changing. I'm happiest when being totally open so I felt today was the right day. Thank you for reading my blog. It really does mean so much xxx
Ohhhh Liz, I'm so so sorry to hear your news. You must have been living a total hell for the last number of weeks. Staggeringly you managed to hide it very well and it appeared like business as normal from the blog readers perspective. My heart goes out to you and your children.
I hope you are able to fulfil you blog ambitions – you deserve to. So good luck with your e-enterprise.
and also for the future.
Stay strong, and all the best.
Paul
Thank you Paul. It has been total hell, you're right. But, I have done everything I can not to let myself or my children down. I'm trying to be as dignified as I can (not always so easy!) so that we can hold our heads high. Thank you for your ongoing support and lovely comments xxx
Liz, I am very, very sorry to hear your news. I love your blog and you have inspired me as a stay at home mummy to try to become a bit more stylish. Wishing you every success with your blog ambitions. I'll be ordering from your scarf shop – such a beautiful selection. Stay strong J x
Thank you. It makes me so happy to hear that I have inspired you. The ladies that write the blogs I follow inspire me. The scarves are really lovely. I want them all and am finding it hard to be business like!! xxx
Love ya liz x
Love ya too Hollie you gorgeous thing you xxx
Oh, Liz. You poor thing and what a fool he is! You will move on to even bigger and better things, I am sure. Children are a fantastic tonic and they will see you through this trying time. Huge hugs and best wishes to you. Lynne xxx
Thanks Lynne. Yes, the children are amazing really and bring such happiness xxx
My heart goes out to you and your family Lizzy at this really difficult time, I can't imagine what it feels like to have your world whipped out from under your feet like that. You should be very proud of this little blog (happy anniversary!) and the amazing things you've achieved with all your writing and modelling, and I really hope that the confidence that it's given you will be a resource to draw on as you make all of these big changes to your life. All the best with your new shop too – I'm off to have a peek! xx
Thank you so much. My confidence has taken a nose dive but I know it'll come back! Xxx
Liz you are so brave a real insperation to other women. I am certain your blog will continue to go from strength to strength and you will continue to inspire women like myself. I will be thinking of you and your children and sending you love and hugs Faye x x
Thank you Faye. And thank you for supporting my blog and your lovely comments xxx
Lizzie you are a lovely lady and an inspiration. I am so sorry for all that has happened to you, but your spirit and determination is nothing short of staggering.xx
Aw, thank you Emma xxx
Hi Liz, I know I tweeted you yesterday but I've been thinking about you all night. Our lives run parallel with children the same age and both living in the rural North, I can only imagine the desolation you must have been feeling. I think you handled your blog post with such dignity (I'm sure you wrote many variations in your head!). The professionalism that you have shown in continuing to blog through such an awful time will surely prove to brands that you would be a brilliant person to work within their digital artillery.
This time will pass, your story might be different to the one you imagined but just think, you're right at the beginning of a whole new chapter. Good luck with everything, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Thank you. It's hard to imagine where I'll be in the months ahead, but I am trying to think of it as a new beginning ( as hard as it is sometimes). Thank you for your support xxx
Hi Liz – well done – its wonderful what you've achieved in just a year! Congratulations and keep blogging! Julia x
Thank you Julia xxx
Hello Lizzy, Congratulations on your Blogging birthday. You have come SO far in such a comparatively short time. You are an inspiration.
I am very sorry to hear your sad news. You will be having dark times but it sounds like you have a strong team around you and the support of your family. I am certain good things and sunny days lie in wait.
x Karen, ( Louella Odiรฉ)
Thanks Karen. I'm very much looking forward to sunny days! I do have the best friends and family to get me through the dark times xxx
Dear Lizzy,
I am new to following fashion blogging but you have inspired me and your scarves look fab. I know a few will find a way into my "collection". I was so sad to read about the betrayal and turmoil in your life. Well done for having the courage and self respect to make the changes you have. You must be a strong woman and I know it is trite but the sun will shine in your life again.
Take care.
L x
Thank you so much. I'm so touched that you say I've inspired you- thank you xxx
Wow! I've only just read this & felt that I had to comment. I am amazed by your strength to get up each day, put a beautiful smile on your face and act like a professional, inspiring woman. I'm sure as you wrote there is so much you could say but you have resisted the temptation to sink to that level and I'm sure your children, family, friends & fans respect you for it.
Where no one would blame you for wearing trackie bums & sloppy t-shirts every day you have continued to put care & effort into your wardrobe & share the dazzling array of outfits with us…never letting on that your heart has been broken.
A true inspiration.
I wish you & your children all the best in this next life adventure that has been thrust upon you. I hope your wish to make blogging your main earner becomes a reality, you certainly have the talent to make that dream come true & I shall continue to look forward to reading about you views & drinking in your outfits!
Many thanks for the great daily reading & for sharing,
Rebecca xx
Thank you Rebecca. You're so kind. I have done my very best to be professional as you say and the last thing I want to do us let my children or myself down. There have been several rants and many many tears, but life is very precious and I don't want to waste more of it than I have to. Thank you again xxx
So sorry to hear your news. I can only say that I know what you're going through – my ex-husband left me shortly before the arrival of our much, or so I'd thought, longed-for daughter. My life turned upside down and he decided to abandon our child as well, having no contact with her. But I had a job I loved and got so much support from friends and family that I pulled myself through, and believe me, you'll make it, too. One has to go through the mourning process, but time will heal your wounds and you'll find happiness again. Now, more than eight years on, I feel life has never been better. My daughter and I are a happy little family. I wish you and your children all the best, believe in yourself and your dreams! It's a long and rocky path to begin a new life after a painful divorce, but you'll make it!
Regards from Finland, Hannele
Oh Hannele, I'm so sorry for what you've been through but thank you for giving me hope and inspiration. I am very glad that my children know and love their father and although their relationship is difficult at the moment, at least they know him and see him. You are right about the mourning process. I am grieving for what was and what should have been, but despite all of this, I have such hope for our future. Thank you again for getting in touch xxx
I've just found your lovely blog and I absolutely love it. I'm so sorry to hear the difficult time that you and your family are going through at the moment, and you are so brave to talk about this so honestly and courageously. I am sure you will go on to bigger and better things, and you have a wonderful positive attitude. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you so much Beccy xxx
Hugs, Liz. I just want to send you a billion virtual hugs. ๐ You are an amazing mother, and you are doing so well for them by standing up and staying strong.
Dina, thank you. And thank you for supporting my blog and for your friendship, which despite being virtual and from a different continent, is very real to me x
I read this the first time you published it and have re read it again through the link from your new post. At the time I was going through a very rough patch as I found out my husband had been texting a younger woman. Even though it wasn't a physical thing I can't tell you how much it hurt and the damage it has done to our marriage. Seeing you go through something so horrendous and yet stay so positive really spurred me on to stop feeling sorry for myself and take control. You have come through the other side due to your own strength, determination and hard work, your children have the most amazing role model.
Oh, I'm so very sorry to hear that. A betrayal doesn't need to be physical for it to be hurtful and damaging. I can completely understand that it has damaged your marriage too. It's very very hard to regain trust once it's been put into question. I have come through the other side with an awful lot of love and support from a lot of people, but as I said in my new post, I'm still battling for child maintenance. However, the most important thing is that emotionally I have fully recovered and am relishing everything my new life has to offer. Good luck. Be honest and true to yourself and thank you so much for reading my blog xxxxx
I can't even imagine what this must've felt like, Lizzy. The heartbreak of betrayal, gosh, I hope I never have to go through what you have been through. But, like I said in a previous comment earlier, you're an inspiration and I just know you'll achieve everything you want to achieve. You are, quite simply, amazing and I hope to one day meet you and all the other lovely 40+ bloggers we've come to support and who support us.
Suzy xx
http://www.suzyturner.com
Thank you so much Suzy. No, I wouldn't wish it on anybody but I am so so SO much happier and stronger than I ever was during a marriage that over time, made me feel inadequate and subjected me to what amounted to emotional abuse. I am free and my wings which had previously been clipped are back and I feel like my old, true self. I can look at it now and say they did me the biggest favour. I am sure we will meet some day soon along with the rest of this most supportive 40+ community. Thank you for your kind words and for your support too xxxxx
Lizzy I'm so glad to hear that you're now stronger and happier than ever! Big hugs xxx
What an amazingly strong woman you are. I am so sorry you have had this happen to you but you know things will get better. They always do! I hope we meet again and wish you the very best future and happiness in the meantime. xx
Thank you Suzi. Yes, it was an awful time but things couldn't be more different now. I'm the person I feel I should always have been. I too hope we meet again soon. Collecting your raffle prize in your slip was one of the most fabulous things I've seen in a long time! xxxxxxxxxxxx